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Wow!
1 min read
Every time I log in here, I see things that I just love and admire and feel inspired by. Every now and then though, something hits me in a way that very few others do. Like this:
:thumb160726939:
Nestor nestr.deviantart.com/ shows great patience in his work, and the results are always eye opening. Maybe all of you watch him already, but if you don't, I really recommend checking out his gallery.
P.S. As he just posted this today, maybe it's a bit premature for me to call it out like this, but I just love it so much I didn't want to wait.
:thumb160726939:
Nestor nestr.deviantart.com/ shows great patience in his work, and the results are always eye opening. Maybe all of you watch him already, but if you don't, I really recommend checking out his gallery.
P.S. As he just posted this today, maybe it's a bit premature for me to call it out like this, but I just love it so much I didn't want to wait.
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I'm back, and better than ever!
2 min read
I'm back, friends. I have so much to share now, and this past month and a half has been truly amazing in terms of my personal growth, and I was able to do it without the help of medications. I'm still very busy, and so it will take me some time, but I will be back to posting photos soon, and I will reply to every message I've received since I was last here.
Thank you all so much for your support! All of my friends near and far, whether face-to-face or online friends, have helped me tremendously. Each and every comment from you helped me. I am stronger, more positive, and happier than I have ever been in my life. I did this by sheer determination, and an unwillingness to give up at any time. I never stopped working on getting better, not even for a minute. It was difficult, but I did it all the right way. I will soon write a more detailed journal of my personal growth and transformation. It's been one wild ride, and the pay-off has been more than worth it.
I'll see you all very soon! Thank you all, from the bottom of my heart!
Thank you all so much for your support! All of my friends near and far, whether face-to-face or online friends, have helped me tremendously. Each and every comment from you helped me. I am stronger, more positive, and happier than I have ever been in my life. I did this by sheer determination, and an unwillingness to give up at any time. I never stopped working on getting better, not even for a minute. It was difficult, but I did it all the right way. I will soon write a more detailed journal of my personal growth and transformation. It's been one wild ride, and the pay-off has been more than worth it.
I'll see you all very soon! Thank you all, from the bottom of my heart!
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Absence for a bit
3 min read
I never thought I'd be posting a journal entry like this, but here I am. I might be off of this site for a short time. I don't know how long. I have a heavy heart, and I need to address some stuff in my personal life. I have a lot of unanswered messages that I want to respond to, but I just don't have it in me at the moment. If I don't get to all of them, I apologize. My life has just crumbled beneath my feet and I need to get my head on straight. I'll be back. It might be in a week, it might be in a month. I'm not sure.
Take it from me, folks... depression is a clever killer, and it can destroy lives before you even realize it's going on. I've waited too long to address mine, and some of the damage may be irreversible. On a site full of artists (whether professionally, or just at heart), I know that many of you know what I'm talking about. I've seen enough comments on here to know that I'm not alone. The lesson here is to do something about it before it's too late...before you lose all that you love.
I'll see you all again soon.
P.S. - I know I'll still check in on here, I just won't be active. But if any of you have come out the other side of this and have any advice for me, I need a lot of help right now. Therapy and anti-depressants are the first orders of business, but any advice other than those two things would be greatly appreciated. Especially if you have experience with anti-depressants and can guide me as far as which ones to take and which to avoid.
Thank you, friends.
-Chris
UPDATE: I just really want to thank those that have reached out to me, both in comments and private messages. It's truly helping me. For so long I've focused on the bad, and I lost touch with the good stuff in life, including contact with good people. Knowing that people I've never met face-to-face (and some I've never even had any contact with) actually care enough to reach out to me really makes me feel so good. I know I can do this with the help of folks just like you. You are all a part of me getting better, and that means so much to me. So, just please know that every comment, every message is helping me. It means more to me than I can express in words. If I could give each of you a hug I would. Oh wait, here you go...
Take it from me, folks... depression is a clever killer, and it can destroy lives before you even realize it's going on. I've waited too long to address mine, and some of the damage may be irreversible. On a site full of artists (whether professionally, or just at heart), I know that many of you know what I'm talking about. I've seen enough comments on here to know that I'm not alone. The lesson here is to do something about it before it's too late...before you lose all that you love.
I'll see you all again soon.
P.S. - I know I'll still check in on here, I just won't be active. But if any of you have come out the other side of this and have any advice for me, I need a lot of help right now. Therapy and anti-depressants are the first orders of business, but any advice other than those two things would be greatly appreciated. Especially if you have experience with anti-depressants and can guide me as far as which ones to take and which to avoid.
Thank you, friends.
-Chris
UPDATE: I just really want to thank those that have reached out to me, both in comments and private messages. It's truly helping me. For so long I've focused on the bad, and I lost touch with the good stuff in life, including contact with good people. Knowing that people I've never met face-to-face (and some I've never even had any contact with) actually care enough to reach out to me really makes me feel so good. I know I can do this with the help of folks just like you. You are all a part of me getting better, and that means so much to me. So, just please know that every comment, every message is helping me. It means more to me than I can express in words. If I could give each of you a hug I would. Oh wait, here you go...
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I rescued a duck!
8 min read
6/16/09
Yesterday after work, I went to a lagoon near my house to take pictures. It's a spot I've always loved, and I've been going there a lot lately because of all of the ducks, geese, herons, seagulls and crows that are there - all things I love.
So I'm standing there taking pictures, and I see a group of male mallards on the concrete walking path all crowded around one female. I've seen this happen once before, but I've never been sure of what it was that I saw. Maybe it's part of the mating ritual - like, how the males decide who will get to mate with the female - or maybe it was something else, but I didn't at first assume it was violent.
Yesterday, however, was different. From a distance, I saw the female lamely try to get away, and the males - and one male in particular - jump right back on top of her. It didn't look like the female was a willing participant, so I started walking over there.
As I got closer, I could see that the female was in bad shape. The entire top of her head, and her entire back, were completely bare of feathers, and there was only red, raw looking skin exposed. I quickened my pace and stamped my feet as I approached to disperse the males.
As they abandoned her out of fear of me, the poor female slowly dragged herself off of the path, and into the soft shredded wood that lined the side of the concrete path. The male ducks were intent though, and I had to stay next to the female and continually hiss and scatter loose dirt at the males to keep them at bay.
As I got a closer look at the female, I saw that she was in really horrible condition. I believe the males were going to continue until she was dead. Her back looked absolutely dreadful and so painful and inflamed, and the top of her head was much the same. I could see small bits of dried blood on her back, probably from where feathers had been savagely torn out.
She pretty quickly realized that I was not going to harm her, and that I was clearly keeping the males away, and she lamely inched her way closer to me. At this point, I knelt down and was talking softly to her, and she inched up even closer until her little head was under my leg. The poor girl was shivering uncontrollably, probably in part from the trauma, shock and fear, and in part from all of her exposed skin. The feathers that remained on her body were tattered and wet, and her wings, which at one point she sort of half spread open, looked incapable of lifting her in the air.
I immediately called the local humane society, but there was only one officer on duty, and she was currently on another call. So then I called another local place called Wild Care, which specializes in caring for sick and injured birds until the birds can be released back into the wild. Or, if they can't be released, they get to live at Wild Care. The woman at Wild Care said that the humane society would bring the duck there anyway, and that if I could bring the duck there myself, that would be best, as time could be of the essence. I explained that I was hesitant to handle the duck due to the extent of her injuries, and I didn't want to add more harm to the situation, but said I would try, and if nothing else, would sit and wait with the duck for the humane society officer to get there.
By this time, I was sitting flat on the ground with my legs stretched out in front of me. The duck was now quite sure that I only wanted to help her, and she had snuggled up firmly against my leg, leaning her head against me as well. I had started to put my jacket over her, but she didn't seem to want that. I suspect it might have been due to how painful her back was. So instead I had made a sort of barricade around her exposed side with it, so that she could no longer see the male ducks.
At this point, I didn't want to wait anymore - though I'd only been there for about 10-15 minutes. I pulled out a soft canvas bag and set it in front of her, with the opening facing her. Without hesitating, she limped inside it. She couldn't (or wouldn't) extend her legs when she walked, so it really almost looked like she was dragging herself. I carefully lifted the bag, allowing her to adjust as the position of the bag changed, and made my way to the car.
I called the officer and told her I was on the way to Wild Care, then called Wild Care to let them know as well.
The duck handled the car ride beautifully, and I spoke softly to her the whole time. As I was walking up to the door of Wild Care, she pulled herself out of the bag just enough to rest her head on my arm. My heart melted.
Once inside, the woman there set up a little box with a towel at the bottom for the duck to rest in, and explained what they would do in the next 48 hours to treat her. They had creams to help soothe and heal her exposed skin. She gave me a patient ID number, so I can call and check on her condition. I asked about visitation, but they don't allow that because they don't want the animals to get attached to people, which is actually really good (even though I so badly want to go see her!). But, she did say that they will call me when it's time to release her back into the wild so that I can come be a part of that. She said they never release at that lagoon because of how dangerous it can be there, especially for the female ducks - something I didn't know. But, something I will now be aware of and will look for anytime I'm there.
So, that's how I rescued a duck! It's not the first time I've found an injured bird and brought it there, but the first two were too far gone to survive. I'm really really hoping that this little lady makes it. She was just so sweet and so scared and so appreciative for the help I gave her.
I always help any animals in need whenever I come across them, and each experience is always rewarding in some way, but this one really was special to me due to the fact that she was so quick to trust me and snuggle up to me. I realize she didn't have much of a choice, but it really made my heart swell anyway.
Hopefully, she will forget about me in time, but I'll never forget her...
P.S. - I'll post updates on her condition as I get them. The woman did say it could be months of recovery before she can be released, if she can be released at all. But, I'll be calling them this week to check on her immediate condition. Fingers crossed!
UPDATE 6/18/09: I just got off the phone with Wild Care. She didn't make it through the first night. My heart is breaking as I write this. I know I did the right thing (Wild Care is a great place with a wonderful reputation, and I'm not trained in caring for injured animals), but I wish now that I could have stayed with her 'till the end. I'll take some comfort in knowing that she felt safe with me - that she knew I cared about her and would protect her - and that while at Wild Care, she was at least safe and warm and having her pain managed. In her final hours, she knew tenderness and compassion. I'm glad that she didn't have to die on a concrete path with no one to help her. And at the very least, all of her pain ended that night. I'll try and focus on these positive things, but really, this just makes me so incredibly sad. I just want to cry now.
I'm so sorry, sweet girl. Our encounter was brief, but I'll never forget it, and you will always be in my heart...
I've decided to give her a name, posthumously: Daisy.
Yesterday after work, I went to a lagoon near my house to take pictures. It's a spot I've always loved, and I've been going there a lot lately because of all of the ducks, geese, herons, seagulls and crows that are there - all things I love.
So I'm standing there taking pictures, and I see a group of male mallards on the concrete walking path all crowded around one female. I've seen this happen once before, but I've never been sure of what it was that I saw. Maybe it's part of the mating ritual - like, how the males decide who will get to mate with the female - or maybe it was something else, but I didn't at first assume it was violent.
Yesterday, however, was different. From a distance, I saw the female lamely try to get away, and the males - and one male in particular - jump right back on top of her. It didn't look like the female was a willing participant, so I started walking over there.
As I got closer, I could see that the female was in bad shape. The entire top of her head, and her entire back, were completely bare of feathers, and there was only red, raw looking skin exposed. I quickened my pace and stamped my feet as I approached to disperse the males.
As they abandoned her out of fear of me, the poor female slowly dragged herself off of the path, and into the soft shredded wood that lined the side of the concrete path. The male ducks were intent though, and I had to stay next to the female and continually hiss and scatter loose dirt at the males to keep them at bay.
As I got a closer look at the female, I saw that she was in really horrible condition. I believe the males were going to continue until she was dead. Her back looked absolutely dreadful and so painful and inflamed, and the top of her head was much the same. I could see small bits of dried blood on her back, probably from where feathers had been savagely torn out.
She pretty quickly realized that I was not going to harm her, and that I was clearly keeping the males away, and she lamely inched her way closer to me. At this point, I knelt down and was talking softly to her, and she inched up even closer until her little head was under my leg. The poor girl was shivering uncontrollably, probably in part from the trauma, shock and fear, and in part from all of her exposed skin. The feathers that remained on her body were tattered and wet, and her wings, which at one point she sort of half spread open, looked incapable of lifting her in the air.
I immediately called the local humane society, but there was only one officer on duty, and she was currently on another call. So then I called another local place called Wild Care, which specializes in caring for sick and injured birds until the birds can be released back into the wild. Or, if they can't be released, they get to live at Wild Care. The woman at Wild Care said that the humane society would bring the duck there anyway, and that if I could bring the duck there myself, that would be best, as time could be of the essence. I explained that I was hesitant to handle the duck due to the extent of her injuries, and I didn't want to add more harm to the situation, but said I would try, and if nothing else, would sit and wait with the duck for the humane society officer to get there.
By this time, I was sitting flat on the ground with my legs stretched out in front of me. The duck was now quite sure that I only wanted to help her, and she had snuggled up firmly against my leg, leaning her head against me as well. I had started to put my jacket over her, but she didn't seem to want that. I suspect it might have been due to how painful her back was. So instead I had made a sort of barricade around her exposed side with it, so that she could no longer see the male ducks.
At this point, I didn't want to wait anymore - though I'd only been there for about 10-15 minutes. I pulled out a soft canvas bag and set it in front of her, with the opening facing her. Without hesitating, she limped inside it. She couldn't (or wouldn't) extend her legs when she walked, so it really almost looked like she was dragging herself. I carefully lifted the bag, allowing her to adjust as the position of the bag changed, and made my way to the car.
I called the officer and told her I was on the way to Wild Care, then called Wild Care to let them know as well.
The duck handled the car ride beautifully, and I spoke softly to her the whole time. As I was walking up to the door of Wild Care, she pulled herself out of the bag just enough to rest her head on my arm. My heart melted.
Once inside, the woman there set up a little box with a towel at the bottom for the duck to rest in, and explained what they would do in the next 48 hours to treat her. They had creams to help soothe and heal her exposed skin. She gave me a patient ID number, so I can call and check on her condition. I asked about visitation, but they don't allow that because they don't want the animals to get attached to people, which is actually really good (even though I so badly want to go see her!). But, she did say that they will call me when it's time to release her back into the wild so that I can come be a part of that. She said they never release at that lagoon because of how dangerous it can be there, especially for the female ducks - something I didn't know. But, something I will now be aware of and will look for anytime I'm there.
So, that's how I rescued a duck! It's not the first time I've found an injured bird and brought it there, but the first two were too far gone to survive. I'm really really hoping that this little lady makes it. She was just so sweet and so scared and so appreciative for the help I gave her.
I always help any animals in need whenever I come across them, and each experience is always rewarding in some way, but this one really was special to me due to the fact that she was so quick to trust me and snuggle up to me. I realize she didn't have much of a choice, but it really made my heart swell anyway.
Hopefully, she will forget about me in time, but I'll never forget her...
P.S. - I'll post updates on her condition as I get them. The woman did say it could be months of recovery before she can be released, if she can be released at all. But, I'll be calling them this week to check on her immediate condition. Fingers crossed!
UPDATE 6/18/09: I just got off the phone with Wild Care. She didn't make it through the first night. My heart is breaking as I write this. I know I did the right thing (Wild Care is a great place with a wonderful reputation, and I'm not trained in caring for injured animals), but I wish now that I could have stayed with her 'till the end. I'll take some comfort in knowing that she felt safe with me - that she knew I cared about her and would protect her - and that while at Wild Care, she was at least safe and warm and having her pain managed. In her final hours, she knew tenderness and compassion. I'm glad that she didn't have to die on a concrete path with no one to help her. And at the very least, all of her pain ended that night. I'll try and focus on these positive things, but really, this just makes me so incredibly sad. I just want to cry now.
I'm so sorry, sweet girl. Our encounter was brief, but I'll never forget it, and you will always be in my heart...
I've decided to give her a name, posthumously: Daisy.
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